


Selli'Cha

by Manuuk7



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manuuk7/pseuds/Manuuk7
Summary: A civilization of thieves and raiders who respects warriors of great prowess. Selli'Cha is one of them, and his lover, Sullo'Crep, tells the story of how their last raid yielded an alien who is now his pet.
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: This is the first of a two-chapter story, which was inspired by a book I recently read (and which I will reveal at the end). All characters that are not mine belong to the owner of IP rights for Star Trek Enterprise. Hope you enjoy the read!

** _Sullo'Crep_ **

Space.

I love it.

Love the vastness, love the stars.

Love the velveteen darkness.

Love the lack of sound.

Love the man laying between my _sessic_ , lapping hungrily at my _eueuq_.

He's a warrior and I am his _svall_ , the companion of his loins. To me the glory and pleasure of collecting his _enarg_ before each fight, each conquest. He deposits it forcefully, tenderly, deep into my leluj'ju, bringing from me screams of pleasure, so delicious it leaves me dizzy and breathless, clinging to one of his _sessic_ as he readies his _eueuq_ for another plunge.

To him the glory of the fight, the phaser, the canon, the spoils. To me the glory of making him swoon with lust, collecting all the precious _enarg_ from his loins, coquettishly sending him glances from under half-closed eyelids that I know will inflame his loins and lead to renewed pleasure. I am at his side at all times. I will be at his side until ugly death collects her dues, and then I will let myself die. If he is not there, I do not want to be either.

Others stare at us, at me mostly, disapproving. Let them disapprove. Let them snicker under covering hands, let their eyes aim daggers, let their tongues spear me for refusing my sex and my rightful place as a soldier. I do not want to be a warrior. I have a long lineage behind me that I reject in support of this claim. I will not be a soldier endlessly fighting, easily disposable and disposed of. I will be the guardian of his nights, my only and ever-renewed conquest is him. I am forever at his disposal, in whatever way he chooses.

I have been at his side since I was plucked from the least promising youngsters to help quench his youthful needs. I would have made a mediocre soldier, instead he has made me a prized _svall_. That took no effort on his part. It is easy to give oneself when one is in love. I was in love the moment I set eyes on him, sweat-drenched from his latest sparring, his eye rimmed with the black of exertion. That eye made me swoon inside though I gave no sign of it. He hardly looked at me, a scrawny twig of a kid, dusty from one of those skill-building games I abhorred because of how poorly I fared. He hardly looked at me and yet I caught his sideway glance, saw a brief light of appreciation. At that moment I became his, in mind and in body, so starved was I for affection, for attention, for friendship, for companionship. All he said was, "Follow me," and I did. I would have followed him to the end of the universe.

And I have.

The first night was strange, me sleeping in the corner on a pile of covers, him sleeping in his bed in all his naked glory. Nothing happened. I did not want anything to happen. The second night was stranger yet, he hardly looking at me even though he had sent me to be bathed, to be fed, to be adorned with clothing that befitted his rank. Nothing happened. Again, I was glad. And so it went, night after night, until I felt like an afterthought in his life, until I was bursting with longing. I wanted him to look at me, I wanted to show I would be forever loyal to him. That night, I went to him.

Ever since, I have shared his couch and his dreams. And his glory. He was always the best, over time he has only become a more powerful fighter, a stronger leader. So what if his _eueuq_ favors the inside of my thigh? He is our champion, always first in line, in raids or battles, ready to grab our due in riches before we move on to the next planet, tearing through any defenses we encounter. We are pilfering entire quadrants of space, one planet at a time. When we are done, we will rest on our home planet while another army rises in our stead, ready to start again.

xxx

** _The Prize_ **

Every moon shines on a new raid. Today, we hide behind the asteroid of a new star. Tonight, our soldiers will come back to our ship bounty in tow, shuttles laden with everything they have encountered - and plundered. Each raid is different, what they bring back never the same. Some worlds yield food from trees and grasses, others rich minerals of high trading value, precious metals and objects, and then there are always the few aliens who survive our raids, once even an entire homestead.

The aliens are small things, easy for us to pick, we never encounter people our size. Never. We separate the males and the females, and laugh as we make the puny males fight us, stretching out their unavoidable demise, entertained by their abject fear and failed efforts. At least the others laugh. I have no taste for any show of the many against the one, too many times have I been the one before I was plucked to serve Selli'Cha's needs. I have even less taste for what they do to the females, subjected to a different death, even more abject and painful, bedded by warriors twice or three times their size. We do keep some aliens as slaves once in a while, if we are in need of other services they can provide, their death sentence suspended for weeks or months, perhaps days, perhaps years, until we grow tired of them. Or they die from mistreatment and we cull a next batch.

The alarm signals the return of the warriors and we all gather to stare at the cavernous shuttle hall, crewmen, svalls, and all those who do not fight. There is tension in the air, relieved as we count the shuttles streaming back to the ship. One, two, three,..., nine, ten,... fifteen... twenty! They are all back, the raid was successful, we did not lose a ship! We wait in high spirits, each of us weighing our menleader's shuttle with our eye, trying to estimate the fullness of its hold as it lands on its pad. The last shuttle steadies. We all wait in electrified silence - the first man out will be the leadwarrior, the one who won the most fights, took hold of the biggest prizes.

My _eleig_ steps out first and my heart skips a beat. A raucous cheer rises in the hall in salute of his greatness. I bask in his glory, in his aura. He always wins. That's why the others adore him, why they unquestioningly follow his lead, and why I am not openly disrespected even though I am a _svall_. I drink in the sight of him along with my crewmates. I smile at him with my eye, seductively batting my eyelid to let him know the pleasures that await his rest tonight. Tomorrow we will feast and be entertained with tales of the raid, of my _eleig_ 's feats. He will laugh and boast while his eye never loses sight of me, letting me know I am in his thoughts.

But first, the bounty. The shuttles' holds are full. Slaves empty the shuttle holds and pile up the bounty on the floor of the shuttle hall, as per our custom. We all gawk and comment as the pile builds up, crates on top of crates, of animals and foods of all kinds. I spot some alien-looking devices, small rectangular boxes of no visible use. There are bushels filled with fruits that roll around on all sides, small two-footed animals, larger ones with six legs, there is enough food there until we reach the next world. And then, a large restraining crate. We know just from the look of it that that one contains an alien. The slaves' backs are rounded, that is always their least favorite part. We all joke and jostle, trying to get a glimpse of the hapless little thing inside the crate, see how ugly it is, how terrified it looks, some gauge how much of a fight it might put up... The crew exchanges puns and banter as to whom will slice it open first, and with what tool.

And then I catch a glimpse of a small alien, sitting awkwardly in that crate atop all the crates of animals and food. A female, obviously. Her clothing is soaked through. Blood, I imagine. There is something about her... Have you ever looked at a work of art and known in your bones that you must possess it, that you alone can understand its striking beauty? I saw her and I needed to have her. Not a physical need, a yearning of my soul. Is it the line of her jaw or the delicate shell-shaped ears? All I know is that she is destined to be mine, that I must have her. The odd shape of her posture only adds to the fire within my soul. A feeling fills my chest with a sweet resonance. She turns and her eyes stare at me, I can feel her bearing into my soul. I am lost to her.

I.

Must.

Have.

Her.

That is all I know. There are dark spots dancing in front of my eye. There is a low buzzing sound in my head. I am about to swoon. I look around until I catch sight of Selli'Cha, holding on to the sight of his face as to a lifeline. By our custom, the bounty must be equally shared among all warriors after the kingleader chooses his prize. He will choose the alien female, he always does, and she will die tonight or tomorrow, torn asunder from inside. I cannot let that happen. Yet I cannot claim her, I can't even buy her from the kingleader, even if I tried. Her price is beyond anything I have or have ever dreamed of owning.

But valor is a currency that can buy a share of bounty, and the leadwarrior can claim a prize before even the kingleader. My eleig has never done so, even so his feats and prowess would allow him to claim the entire bounty twice over. This would be the first time. I sidle over to him and whisper in his ear. He turns to look at me, then takes a long look inside the crate. I know he does not see the beauty in her, I know his eye stops at the ugly bruise on her forehead, at the strange twist in her side as she favors her leg.

"Do you really want her?" he whispers in my ear, his hand trailing to my bottom, his finger tantalizingly perched on the inner passage that is his alone. I know what he thinks, that I desire her carnally, that I am looking for a vessel to spill my _eniarg_ into as he spills his into me.

I shake my head slightly, "Not in that way, no." How can I explain to him that I want her with a desire that weakens my knees but does not straighten my _eueuq_ , that I want to possess her like one possesses a statue? I look at him, "I want her. Can I have her? Please?!" To my ears, I sound like a petulant child. Little does it matter, but that I gain what I want. He frowns at the tone, so unexpected, he's never heard me ask for anything before, other than beg for his manhood. "As a pet," I whine further, willing him to understand. Even though I know he won't.

I have never asked for anything before. That and the fact and he likes to please me bend the scale in my favor. He shrugs, "Fine!," and walks to the front of the assembly. There, he turns to stare at the crowd gathered in the hangar, "I claim the alien!" His strong voice rings through the hall, bouncing down the corridors. Everyone freezes. I look around, fearful for both my _elieg_ and the alien. There is a hushed murmur that dies quickly. Selli'Cha's never made the leadwarrior claim before. All eyes turn to the kingleader. What is he going to say? The kingleader is as shocked as the men he leads. His eye darkens with anger, quickly smoothed over. He knows that he cannot refuse the leadwarrior claim and maintain his authority. If he violates custom, how safe is his own seat after all? Our kingleader lets his eye shine brightly again. There is no denying my _elieg_. He has never claimed more than his fair share of the draw, even when his skill would have earned him a much larger share.

And before I fully realize what happened, my _elieg_ 's already on his way back to me, dragging the alien by the arm, mindless of the injured leg twisting at her side. He throws her at me as if a toy to an unruly and whining child, and I gently pick her up, cradling her in the nook of my arm, trying to convey comfort and warmth. She does not move. I bend my eye towards her in a smile, hoping she understands I mean her no harm.

xxx

_** First Aid ** _

I follow my _elieg_ back to our cabin, keeping the small alien nestled in the crook of my elbow, away from the inquisitive stares and patting hands of other warriors. They like that the leadwarrior has staked a claim for his valor, want to share in his honor by seeing first hand his prize. I shoo them off, hiding her as best as I can. They don't know how to deal with her kind. Neither do I. But I know about being scared and hurt, and how a wounded animal can bite out of fear. I tell myself I am protecting them as well as her because they will kill her if she does.

Once inside our cabin, I pull out old tarps and blankets to create a bed of a kind, and deposit her gently in its center, careful of her injured leg. Even crouching I tower over her. She looks at me, unafraid. Her eyes are ugly, two tiny beads below her forehead, there is no majestic orb centering her forehead. Even that ugliness adds to her beauty. I cannot get enough of the finesse of her bones, the myriad details that emerge as I keep my eye focused on her. I look her over carefully, without touching her, checking that none of her injuries are life-threatening. She waits. At no time does she flinch or try to withdraw. I chuckle inwardly. My, this is a spirited one. I could not have chosen better if I had tried.

I would dress her wounded leg, but I do not want to be bitten. It would only take a flick to the head to kill her, I learned that from other pets as a child. I want her to understand that I, that we, are not planning to eat her - or mate with her. There are always other uses for aliens, even those as small as her. A thought crosses my mind as those two pinpoint eyes look at me. Not all aliens are barbarians, this one may not be either. I point at myself, "Sullo'Crep," then at my elieg, "Selli'Cha". We do not share names with those we eat or kill. Perhaps she will understand.

She stares back at me in silence. Once again, I feel her eyes bearing into my soul. I point to her, aware of how big my index is compared to her head, "Who are you?" I ask. She doesn't answer.

How can I explain? I repeat the gestures, hand over my chest, "Sullo'Crep" than at my _elieg_ "Seli'Cha."

She seems to understand, closes her eyes briefly then opens them again, laying a hand flat against her chest, "Die'Pall". I almost exclaim for joy - she can speak! She will make a delightful pet once I teach her a few words. "Die'Pall?" I repeat, pointing at her. She seems taken aback, as if I have not said her name correctly. "Die'Pall," she repeats, and I repeat it after her again. She frowns slightly. I must not be saying it right.

Because our language is so much more pleasant than the harsh diphtongues she uses, I point to her instead, saying " _Tokekot_ ". That means pet in our language. I will be the first to admit I could have been more creative. But somehow it fits, and I like it better than 'slave'. She raises an eyebrow and my heart swoons at the sight. I have never seen such delicate movements. I repeat, clearly " _Tokekot_ ", again pointing at her. I have the advantage of size, it's obvious I can call her anything I like. She looks at me then inclines her head, repeating, " _Tokekot_ ". I laugh softly. That is the endearing term I will use for her. One good thing done.

She must be thirsty. I'm not sure how she takes water, but I have lost enough pets as a child to learn that water is key to keeping them alive. I shuffle over to the slop pit and bring back a saucer of water. I set it down within her reach. She looks down at it then up at me. I realize that after all, she has no idea why this is, or what my intentions are. I pick up the saucer and drink a mouthful to show her it is not poisonous. More spills on my chest than in my mouth, but I do not mind. I set the saucer down again. Still staring at me, she picks it up in turn and drinks, also only a mouthful. I would clap my hands in glee but I do not want to alarm her. Instead, I smile with my eye, wanting her to understand I am pleased.

But first, there are other things that need to be seen to. My _elieg_ is already pulling me up by the elbow, his need clear and pressing. I follow him to the couch. It is his right and my duty to repay his gift. He makes it harsh and fast, devoid of his usual tenderness, a raw possession that brings water to my eyes. He groans as he shudders into me and I sink back into the covers, glad it is over, wanting to go back to my new pet. But my _elieg_ reaches for the jar of _h'jlou_ and I despair silently as I feel him spread the aphrodisiac over both of us. Too soon, his _eueuq_ is ready again, claiming its due. Which he does, again, and again, and again.

I finally get up when he is deep into a sated sleep, hobbling to where my pet is. She is sitting with her good leg under her, the wounded one jutting out at an odd angle. I thought her asleep but she opens her eyes when I approach. At least now she must know that I did not get her in order to mate. I crouch, immense next to her, and point to her leg, to the cloth covering the wound. She nods her approval.

I get up and come back with a basin and a sponge, presenting them for her inspection. I approach her leg, careful to keep my hands soft and gentle. She does not move as I cut through the cloth to reveal a jagged wound from knee to ankle. The dark green blood is caked all over, her kneecap shows white. It is an ugly wound, one that I know will leave a limp. I cannot go to our doctors, they do not treat pets. Fortunately I have done my share of field stitching. She doesn't react when I show her the needle and thread, she seems remote, it's almost as if she wasn't there. She doesn't twitch or cry when I start the slow process, careful to keep the stitches small so the scarring will be even. I get bolder as I go on, less worried about her bite. When I am done, she is fast asleep. At least, I think she is asleep, even though I don't know how one can fall asleep under such pain.

I sit back on my haunches, looking at her features, happiness fluttering in my heart. Never before have I owned anything so fine. I look forward to going through life with my pet at my side. I am no longer alone.

xxx

** _Tokekot_ **

My expectations have been met and surpassed! I held the small hope that my pet had the gift of speech, that she was not one of those barbarians who only talk in single-syllable words and grunts. And even her not talking would have been fine, I could still fill my eye with her harmonious features.

My small hope has been surpassed. What am I saying, surpassed?... It has been dashed, annihilated, to float away with the wind like a burnt cinder. My pet speaks, and she speaks fluently. She learned our language with a speed which surprises me. It only took her two weeks before she could be sent on errands to interact with the merchants and servicepeople on the ship. That's when we tasked her with doing all of our shopping. Or rather Selli'Cha tasked her, through me. He won't speak to her. I was hesitant to send her on such errands, her leg was hardly healed and she walked with a pronounced limp, but Selli'Cha insisted. There is no room on our vessel for anyone who does not carry their load, _svalls_ excepted, of course. It took another two weeks for her to speak well enough that we could exchange information about our people and culture. I point out something, anything, a spoon on the table, the floor panel she is painstakingly cleaning, and start. Telling her what it is called, what it is made of, how it is made. She joins in, asking questions, making me repeat words that are new to her, slowly but surely using other words to consolidate their meaning. Every day, her progress is ten-fold. Another two weeks yet again and she speaks fully and easily, able to discuss spices for the night's supper or some aspect of our culture that she is curious about. She asks many questions, and I answer most, taking pleasure in building her vocabulary and reveling in how clever she is. Overall, I do not want to give her too much information, though. She is a smart cookie, this one.

I pat myself of the back for having selected her. Our conversations are the music that rocks my days. And yet I avoid enjoying her presence too openly, lest Selli'Cha take umbrage. He hasn't said a word to her or about her, holding the pretense she is beneath his notice, her status that of slave and chattel. Whenever Selli'Cha is not in our quarters I make her stop her chores and talk to me. As soon as we hear the door chime that he is back, she bends back to her task and I retreat to our couch, randomly picking up a padd and pretending to read it, looking up in delighted surprise at my _elieg_ 's muscular body. The anticipation is not faked. Selli'Cha walks in and makes a beeline straight to me and my velvety lips, studiously acting as if he doesn't see her. But like all masters, he is awkward at pretense, and I am the one who has to pretend that I don't see the kick aimed at her as he goes by. Sometimes, he connects and she rolls and slams against the wall hard, waiting several seconds before getting up again, while I wait with baited breath, relaxing only when she finally gets up, allowing my lips only to smile at my _elieg_. Other times, more often now that she is familiar with him, he ends up kicking mostly empty air, brushing her as she rolls away. I can tell that by the sound she makes when she hits the wall, a soft plunk as opposed to a hard thud. Those times, the smile on my lips spreads to my eye, and I look at my _elieg_ with genuine pleasure.

Yet I understand him, and I understand that he fears she is taking me away from him. I would like to tell him nothing could be more untrue but he would be cross at seeming threatened by a slave, a mere alien half his size. It is safer for her, and for me, to keep my peace. Eventually, he will become used to her presence, though I doubt he will ever talk to or about her.

xxx

** _The Story_ **

One day, I find out why. That day, Selli'Cha leaves early, to craft an attack strategy with all the other menleaders. I'm idly playing with a kitchen knife while my pet preps vegetables. She has explained that she doesn't eat meat, though I do not understand how one can pretend to love animals and yet refuse them the end they were meant for. I am working on our ratio of _nipal_ , helping carve it for the pot - I have noticed that the handling of meat is deeply upsetting to my pet and I am glad to take that chore off her whenever Selli'Cha is not around. As she reaches for another misshapen head of _sirad_ , I stick my knife in it, preventing her from pulling it back. She looks at me questioningly but without fear. A part of me feels gratified, it speaks to the care with which I have gained her confidence that I mean her no harm.

"What happened between you and Selli'Cha?" I ask. It has been weeks and there is more to Selli'Cha's refusal to speak to her than a mere question of status. Or to his kicks, though they are becoming less frequent. It has taken a long time, but I finally understand that he does not like her. Or her, him.

A shadow briefly shines in her eyes. She blinks and looks at me. And I realize that I do not know anything about where she came from, or how she ended up on our ship. Most of the questions have been hers, about us. "How did you end up here?" I ask.

I am not sure what to expect, whether she will tell me her story. But she does. I supply the words she does not yet know and together we elucidate the words that do not have a meaning in my culture. But little by little her story comes out. She tells me of another ship, not as large as ours but still very large, and how on that ship she was a science menleader. I nod along, refraining from scoffing at her declaration that she was a menleader. As if females could be menleaders! But I can excuse that bit of female vanity, and I let it go. The part about being a scientist, though, I believe, she is extremely smart.

She says how her ship discovered the planet we captured her on, and wanted to "look-at-it-from-all-angles" — we do not have a word for it, but that's what I think she means. While she and her team were on the planet - I believe they were sent to plunder, they could not have simply been cataloguing the fauna and flora, their kingleader was called on to another place. At least, that's what she believes, though a simpler explanation is that their kingleader wanted to get rid of them. They agreed that the science team would stay and the ship would come back later for them. I ache at her naivete, but I do not say anything. There is the possibility after all that their kingleader did plan to return, even if I am shocked at the waste of resources. We would never do that. Leave healthy crewmembers behind to indulge in some passing curiosity? Any kingleader guilty of such wanton behavior would soon be put to death by its own eliegs...

Tokekot stops talking and I have a sudden sense of great sadness, though I do not know why or where it came from. The budding silence makes me uneasy. "You were on the planet when we raided it," I say out loud.

She seems to focus back on me, her eyes huge in her face. She resumes her story and I feel as if I was there, with her. I can almost see the geodesic dome that the scientists call home, a temporary structure nestled in the sheltering shoulder of a hillock. They have come to the conclusion there are no inhabitants on the planet. They have not way of expecting what is to come onto them.

That is us.

The morning duties have been assigned and one of the team goes out to collect some herbs. Tokekot told me about each member of her party. The scientist who goes out that day is not like her, he's from another world. His skin is the color of warm sand, and he was a cricket player in his youth. He's gone but a few minutes before they hear him shriek in agony. They all rush out to his defense.

I know then that, like me, she too is not a warrior. A warrior would have left someone behind to guard the shelter.

The scientists rush out in the open only to see Selli'Cha finish the fallen one with his lance. Tokekot lunges at him. I almost fall off my chair in shocked surprise. Selli'Cha is over twice her size standing up, and she lunges at him?! Perhaps she is not quite so clever as I thought. She does manage to hold her own though, even gets in a couple of chops, but the unavoidable happens. Selli'Cha slices her leg with his _hetys_ , and when she goes down he follows with a quick blow to her head with the butt of his lance. Before she loses consciousness, she hears the screams of the other scientists being mowed down by our warriors.

None of her people survived, or they would have been captured and brought back. And I suddenly know without the shadow of a doubt what keeps Selli'Cha silent around her. It is the taste of failure. He didn't plan to kill all of them. Simply, they were too fragile for our blows. She comes from different stock or he would have killed her as well.

I do not speak when she finished. There's nothing for me to say, really. I could explain that Selli'Cha isn't a monster, but there's the weight of those dead aliens. My _elieg_ is capable of great horrors, but he's not a monster. Not to me at least, never to me. As to what he is capable of doing to her... I hope he will not do that to me, his prized _svall_.

xxx


	2. Selli'Cha Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I really really tried to hold it to two chapters, now hoping to keep it at three chapters.

xxx

** _The Betrayal_ **

How could he? How could my _elieg_ thus betray me? Doesn't he realize that separating me from my pet is taking the joy out of my life? Did he want to punish me? Was it jealousy? I will follow him to my death, doesn't that count for anything?! How could he?!

My mind keeps going back to the heart-dropping events of the night, how he stepped into our quarters, bringing with him the sour smell of overindulgence, how he woke me from a deep sleep, half-falling on our couch, whimpering softly, his eye red-lined as he sobbed his way through explanations of what happened. Of what happened? No- of what he did. How could he?! The cold hand of knowledge took hold of my heart, twisting and untwisting as soon as I picked my pet's name out of his unintelligible blubbering. Even if he couldn't stand to fully confess what happened, I knew. I knew what he did. I could read it in the slouch in his shoulders, in the eye that wouldn't quite meet mine.

Drunk? Yes he was, but not enough to let go of his senses. Or he wouldn't have come to find forgiveness in my arms, and oblivion in my _essics_. What did he do, and why? He has never been guilty of malice. Never. I know him oh, so well. My love is not blind, I can trace each of his character flaws on the well-worn map in my mind. Subject to passion, yes. Quick to the draw, yes. Quick to respond to challenge, yes. Slow to realize traps of the mind, yes. He can be a braggart and a fool, boisterous and soft on the drink, he can be a coward other than on the battlefield, but never has he ever shown malice. So, why?

I will have to wait for the answer, to find out what happened. In the end, that is what helps me open my arms to him, what allows me to let him sob his sorrow on my shoulder, what makes me rock him with shushing soft noises that will soothe his brow and let him sleep. He doesn't need more from me. In his state, he would be quite incapable of demanding more... And while I rock him to an evasive sleep, my eye stays fixed on my pet. The ruckus has roused her. She understands something happened, but not the details. Even I do not know the details, drowned in the sniveling blubber of my _elieg's_ guilt. But we both know she is central to it.

Finally, Selli'Cha's sobs fade into irregular hiccups, the last of which takes on the baritone of a resounding snore. He is asleep. Gently, I roll him over to the other side of our couch, where he contentedly burrows into the blankets. We are now two to be awake, Tokekot and myself. I get up and she looks at me silently. I walk over to her corner, crouch, and gently lift her in the crook of my elbow, as I did the first time she came into my life. She stiffens, an expected reaction from one so small when handled by one so large. She knows I am always gentle with her though, and I am sure she will relax. I sit back on my couch, still protectively holding her. She will be taken from me. That much I know. She will be taken from me. And she knows it too.

I look at her and she raises her eyes to stare into mine. She keeps staring at me and I feel her fingers on my wrist, as if she were sensing my pulse. Time stops. Silence reigns. I blink with the sudden idea that pops into my mind. I don't know where it came from, but it strikes me as perfect. I will give her a gift, to make the parting less painful. Something she cherishes. I know exactly what it is I will give her. The picture came to my mind along with the idea. Such a great idea.

xxx

** _The Parting_ **

I wait expectantly for Selli'Cha to wake up, which he does, looking at me groggily, unaware I just kicked him to hasten the process. I gaze upon him as if the sun had just appeared, exclaiming my pleasure that he awoke so promptly, he shall ever remain unaware of my kick. I wait expectantly as he slowly looks around the room, coming back to his full senses. A part of me hopes that I was wrong, that he was wrong, and that all he shared last night were the horrors of a drunk nightmare. That perhaps nothing happened. His eye droops as he sees Tokekot and reality slams into me with a vengeance. It did happen. My heart twists in my chest in unhappy knowledge. She is going to be taken from us. From me.

I do not speak as I dress the breakfast table. He doesn't notice that Tokekot is not the one doing it, that she remains on her floor bed whence I forbade her to move. I wait in silence as he slowly partakes of the meal. As he is chewing the last morsels, I lean over and whisper in his ear, where Tokekot can't hear me. His head snaps up and he looks at me in surprise. I shrug in response, "I just want to do something nice..." No need to explain why. I wait tensely. My hopes are rewarded as a large smile breaks over Selli'Cha's face. Before I can even blink in surprise, he hands me his _horndisk_ , "Just get what you think is best." My heart would dance in my chest if it weren't so weighted with worried apprehension.

My step is lighter as I hurry to the quartermaster. Our conversation is short, slightly breathless on my part. I know exactly what I am looking for. He walks me to the holds, leaves me there in the care of the head slave, an alien of the ugliest color with four eyes instead of one. As if his color itself wasn't hideous enough. There has been no further raid since we found Tokekot, the items are easy to find. I hesitate in front of the small black boxes. They are two of one size, one of the other. Which one will she like best? I would take the bigger box but she is tiny and the smaller one is more proportionate. I shift my weight from one foot to the other, unnerved by my inability to choose. I look down at the _horndisk_ in my hand, at the boxes, at the _horndisk_. Selli'Cha did say to take whatever I wanted. The decision is mine.

I hurry back to our quarters. I do not like to leave Tokekot alone, I do not like being away from her for any length of time. I hold the gift package gingerly, lest it break and one of the items is damaged. One of the items... Selli'Cha did give me free rein. He won't even notice his _horndisk_ dipped. I think back to our morning breakfast, to my asking Selli'Cha about the gift, to how amenable he was, how swiftly he obliged. That is a rare event indeed, he is as tight-fisted with it as he is generous with his favors. His guilt ends up being in Tokekot's favor. I smile at the memory of him handing me his _horndisk_. A sense of unease troubles my brow. Something is off... Why was he so pleasant, so easy to convince? A dark cloud of foreboding rises in my heart, hastens my step. He wanted me gone! That's why! I am running now, our quarters seem so far away.

Finally I round the last corner, press forward even faster. Our door beckons, behind everything will be as it should be. Everything. I breathlessly stride in. There is only Selli'Cha there, looking guilty. Tokekot is gone. I look at him, past him, am already rushing to her corner, I need to physically check what my eyes are telling me. But she is not there. Her empty blankets stare back at me from the corner where she usually sleeps, by the stove. I pick them up, look accusingly at Selli'Cha. "Where is she?!" My tone stands for my frustration. I have to be careful, I cannot push him too far. He could have me killed for it, even a _s'vall_ cannot afford such liberties. But I am blinded by rage and anger.

He says nothing, he doesn't seem to even notice my effraction. His eye finally settle on mine, the bleariness of the night's overindulgence gone. "The kingleader's men came to take her," he says.

"That is why you sent me away?!" I feel tears rising.

Selli'Cha hangs his head, "It was better that way. I did not want you to hurt more." How can I stay angry at him after he says that?

"I did not get to say good-bye," my voice catches in my throat. I drop blankets and gifts in the corner, drop myself onto our couch. Will he ever understand what he took away from me?

He does. He gets up, walks over to me, takes my hands in his. "I will get her back. To you, this I promise." An _elieg_ promising to his _svall_... That is the depth of character of Selli'Cha. The reason I am his and why I will love him to death's door and beyond.

xxx

** _The Wagertrue_ **

Selli'Cha plops himself down next to me. It is as if he is reading my thoughts. "She is my _wagertrue_ , to be earned back through the skill of my ehtys." He says.

"Your _wagertrue_?" my head swims with a feeling even worse than last night. How did he end up offering her as a bond against his honor? How will he get her back?

"I made the claim I was the best menleaders of all," Selli'Cha explains. Still, I look at him with rounded eye. He is the best menleader of all. How does that explain Tokekot? And why?!

"Why?" I ask.

In response, slowly, softly, Selli'Cha tells me about his dinner with the kingleader and other menleaders. The drink was flowing, the food was plentiful. Once the supper was over and the table cleared, the kingleader proposed a game of _stevelo_. Again, my hackles rise in foreboding. I know little of the game, reserved for top warriors, except it has to do with valor, and skill, and outlandish claims that must be proven on the battlefield, or else secured with a _wagertrue_ , to be forfeited if the claim is unproven. The game went on well into the night, the kingleader careful to keep their cups ever full, until the time Selli'Cha boast overcame his will and he declared he was the best among all even armed with only his _hetys_. A quarrel predictably erupted, the menleaders demanding Selli'Cha retract his claim. Selli'Cha's pride wouldn't let him do so, or perhaps it was the kingleader's doing.

My heart twists in my chest. I can clearly see what my _elieg_ can't, the trap set by the kingleader. He is cold and greedy, our kingleader, unrestrained in his appetites, ferocious in his hatreds, petty in his favors. He wants Tokekot for himself. I should have known. He took it as a personal affront that Selli'Cha claimed her, deprived him of pleasuring his base urges. I can see in my mind's eye how he organized the stevelo, how he made Selli'Cha euphoric from too much drink, how he whispered he could still use Tokekot as a _wagertrue_. And my _elieg_ too upright, too noble, to smell the trap carefully laid in front of him.

Selli'Cha cannot overcome with a mere _hetys_ as his only weapon. My head swims. It is my fault. I shouldn't have wanted Tokekot as a pet. And now my _elieg's_ life is at stake...

Selli'Cha notices. "It will be okay," he whispers at my side, "I am the best."

I nod, that much is true. As it is true that he will probably die staking his claim. Another thought stops me. "You said the kingleader...," I say, "What if..." I cannot say it, I look down at my knees. "You know what he does with female aliens," I finally blurt out in a hushed voice.

"He cannot touch a hair on her head," Selli'Cha talks calmly, with poise. "She's a _wagertrue_. And I will get her back for you." Selli'Cha's voice is certain. I am less so. He gave up his prize, and proving his claim may well cost him his life.

That cannot be. I tell myself that cannot be. Selli'Cha is our best warrior. The kingleader cannot be so blinded with petty revenge that he would take a decision that will maim us for times to come. Certainly, Selli'Cha's prowess will soften his heart and bring him back to his senses. Certainly.

That belief haunts me through the night, when my liege is sleeping and I grind my teeth in frustration at what he has told me.

xxx

** _The Feast_ **

It was a long crossing and supplies are dwindling, but we didn't have to eat any of the alien slaves. Four juicy planets are showing in the distance, ripe fruits waiting for our plucking. Excitement courses through the ship. Our reserves are empty. Soon, we will fill them with the bounties of the planet hanging out on our screens, peaceful and unworried. A new planet, new raids, new battles, new bounties, these are heady days indeed.

Selli'Cha has me fetch his _warriorsuit_ from storage and go over every latch, every fastening, every rivet, which I do with a fervor born of fear. The _warriorsuit_ is the only thing that can fetch his victory from the jaws of death. And I need him to be victorious, he's the only one who can bring my pet back. Once he proves his claim, we can go back to the way we were, the three of us. I haven't seen Tolekot since they took her away. I have not left Selli'Cha's side since that fateful night. I will not leave his side until he leaves on a raid, to prove his mettle and his claim. Or die trying. My thoughts are consumed with his fate, his survival, with him having to fight with only his _hetys_.

We are advancing on the first planet like a cat about to pounce. In a couple of days, we raid. Tonight, we feast. That is our tradition, to celebrate the spoils to come and sweeten the last days of those who will not come back.

The dining hall is chockfull of people and noise, warriors and their _svalls_ joshing over their meals, small alien slaves scurrying around laden with food and drink. Selli'Cha and I enter together, me at his side always. We take our seats side by side, the size of our plates the only sign of the difference in our status. The warriors are talking loudly, excited about the upcoming raids. An alien slave jostles my chair as he attempts to reach up to my glass. I look at him and he shrinks back in fear, then realizes it is I. The slaves know I am lenient but I do not want the others to know, and I bare my fangs. He obligingly steps back, and I ignore him as if he were not worthy of my time.

Suddenly, the doors open and the herald steps in to announce the kingleader's arrival. A hush falls onto the room. Silence is now complete. The kingleader enters slowly, hefting his huge girth from side to side as he makes his way to the throne. He is easily three times the size of a _svall_ , swollen with the ages, a paean to inactivity and cunning survival. All eyes are fixed on him now.

Not quite all. Mine is not. It almost jutted out of my head when I caught sight of the figure following him. I managed to strangle a gasp but I cannot tear my eye away, a mix of relief and anxiety bringing sweat to my brow. Tokekot! That's Tokekot! She is tethered to his waist by thin chains of gold that snake around her neck and wrists. Around her throat a heavy gold collar, its weight obvious in the green chafing of the skin at the collarbone. On her wrists, heavier-looking jewelry still, large ornate bracelets that would be better fitted to a seasoned criminal and a deep jail. Earrings are hanging from her ears, their weight almost painful to look at. I gawk at the unfamiliar accoutrements.

The kingleader yanks hard, and she stumbles forward, betrayed by her dragging leg. He settles his enormity in his throne and sits her roughly at his feet. The noise rises again in the dining hall. Next to me, I can feel Selli'Cha's brow darken. The kingleader is purposefully humiliating him, parading his prize around as if she were a tame dog. The kingleader pats Tokekot on the head, looking straight at Selli'Cha, daring him to object. If he does, Selli'Cha will lose his claim to the _wagertrue_. My breath stops in my chest. But my _elieg_ is not to be fooled twice. He bends his eye to his plate, the crimson glow of his neckband revealing his hidden anger only to me, who knows him so well.

I keep my eye on Tokekot, looking her over, trying to find every manner in which she is being mistreated. She sits there seemingly unmoved but I have spent too much time with her to be fooled. I saw how her eyes widened ever so slightly at the kingleader's touch. Anger twists my heart. My pet has never been afraid of me. Ever. I stare daggers at the kingleader, what has he done to her? He is oblivious to my attention, his gaze fixed on the food on his plate. He picks morsels of _nipal_ and deposits them in front of Tokekot, pushes the plate towards her. I cringe. Doesn't he know she doesn't eat meat? I want to vault over the tables and kick the plate away. Instead, I fret helplessly at how much thinner she seems to my eye, at the dark shadows under her jaw from the kingleader's yanking.

I sit unmoving, hardly touching the food on my own plate, willing her to look in my direction. I want her to feel the comfort of a friendly face in the assembly of giants. But she doesn't see me... She's seen me! It only lasted half a second but I felt her glance in my direction. Now that she knows I'm here, I feel worse that I cannot help her. I keep staring at her. She raises her eyes to meet mine. All of a sudden I am reminded about the black boxes that I wanted to give her.

Selli'Cha is talking to me and I snap back to the dining hall and our table. He too has hardly touched his plate. "We are done," he says to me. I nod in relief. I want to leave the dining hall, go back to our quarters. I have to find the gifts. They must still in the corner by the stove, where I dropped them last. He raises from his seat, under the gloating eye of the kingleader, "Glories to you," he formally says, "my _svall_ and I shall retire."

"Sit!" the kingleader roars his disapproval. My _elieg_ glares at him but remains standing. Silence falls in the hall.

The kingleader surveys the assembly. He cannot seem weak, or a half-dozen will be pressing to replace him. "Sit down!" he roars again, then, "Guards!" The soldiers rustle. They are bred to discipline, the refusal of an order from the kingleader cannot be ignored, must be chastised. They step forward, blades inclined at my _elieg's_ throat. He will die at their hands lest he obeys.

Which he does, eventually, reluctantly, making it clear that it is not his will to do so.

"You have greatly offended me!" the kingleader is shouting, his words clear to all who are in the dining hall. "As a punishment for your actions, I lay claim to the _wagertrue_!"

My _elieg_ jumps to his feet, along with the other menleaders. "She is my _wagertrue_. You cannot touch a hair on her head! Not unless I fail in my claim!" The other menleaders nod in vigorous agreement, their exclamations a counterpoint to his raised voice. Even the kingleader must respect the law born of our custom.

The kingleader looks around the room, realizes that he will not find support there. He is cunning our kingleader, I said so before. He squints in thought, then breaks into a most unpleasant smile, "It is true that our customs forbid any of us bring harm to the _wagertrue_ ," he looks around, his smile a harbinger of further unpleasantness, "but aliens are not held to the same high moral standards. It has been a long time since our menslaves have known a female. She will be brought to the breeding locks before she is returned to you."

The alien slaves hoot and whistle their approval, their raucous display of lechery turning my stomach and sending an acid taste into my mouth. The kingleader licks his lower lip with a thick tongue, "If you honor your claim," he adds, "otherwise, I will bed her myself." I can read the envy in the eyes of the warriors. There are few female aliens left for those without _svalls_ , who have to wait to come back to our planet and their consorts.

Selli'Cha glares at the kingleader in reply, "I am the best menleader, even if armed only with my _hetys_. Do not foreclaim what shall never be yours!" He stares hard, "Now with your leave, I shall return to my quarters."

The kingleader knows not to drag out an unpleasant moment. He adjusts his girth on the throne, making a show of pulling on Tokekot's chains in the process, lest anyone forget she is under his dominion. She is still looking at me and I am reminded again of the gifts. But I am already following my _elieg_ out of the room. My place will always be at his side.

xxx

** _The Visit_ **

Selli'Cha's upset shows long and hard. Tomorrow, he will fight, and beat all others with his _hetys_ as his only weapon. Tonight, it is an _hetys_ of a different kind that vanquishes me as I rake my nails on our couch. He falls in a deep slumber afterwards. I would join him, but I cannot sleep. I must not. There is much to do.

The chime rings and she answers it. She limps back and I step in. "What are you doing here?" she whispers. And yet, I know she is not surprised to see me.

"I came to see that you were all right," I whisper back. That is when I notice she is hardly dressed, a short shift cut low on her bosom. At least she is not cold, I do not see her shake in chills.

"You cannot stay, the King often comes to my quarters," she warns me in the same whisper. I frown, "To do what?" I ask. In a flash, I realize why her state of undress. Many are the ways he spite my _elieg_ without bedding her. I avert my eye in shame and embarrassment.

She shakes her head briefly, "It is of no importance." She looks to the side and down, and in the same blinding moment I realize that she is not telling the truth.

"I'm sorry..." I've said it before I even became conscious of the thought.

I'm greeted with a familiar quizzical look, "There is no need to be sorry, you have not done anything you need to ask forgiveness for."

Perhaps not, but my _elieg_ has, and so has the kingleader. The weight of their misconduct is mine to bear. I am sorry. And I want to set it right. I fish the package from my waistband. "I wanted to give you those before the kingleader took you," I say, and hand it to her. The boxes inside are tiny. She picks one up with tinier fingers, opens it. It is a black rectangle, nothing more. She taps something on it. Waits. Taps again. Nothing happens. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I stare back stupidly, overcome by the elegance of the gesture.

She picks up a second box, opens that one also, still staring at me. She rapidly presses a sequence on the surface and this time there is the unmistakable sound of subspace. I look at her in stunned surprise, "These are communication devices?!"

She stares at me for a few seconds, then flips the box shut. It remains in her hand like a black pearl in an oyster. "I am attempting to communicate with my ship," she finally says.

"Your ship?" She did say her kingleader would be looking for her. I didn't believe her then and I don't now, "You think your kingleader is looking for you?" How can I get her to realize that cannot be, he's deceived her?

She stares at me again, seeming to weigh how much to tell me. When she does speak, she is calm and rational, as if there can be no doubt about what she says, "Enterprise was scheduled to come back for the science team four point seven weeks ago. They can trace this ship based on its exhaust pattern. I estimate they will catch up with us in six point ten days."

I am speechless. Her quiet assurance would be almost enough to convince me. But even so, we do not have that much time. "I thought, perhaps...," I start, and then stop. An idea has started forming in my mind. But I can't tell her. It's too early, the idea still unformed, a figment of possibilities.

Tokekot is fiddling with the black box, brings it to her mouth. "Diepol to hunter's pride," she says, then waits. I am reminded Diepol is what she used to be called. 'Hunter's pride' is of concern, though. How many hunters are there? Even small ships can inflict grave damage on our ship, if there are enough of them. For the first time I become aware that I may be facilitating an attack on my ship. The box remains silent. Tokekot taps a rapid sequence on its surface, shuts the lid, and hands it back to me. "I cannot keep it here," she explains.

I remain frozen in place. A faint hum emanates from the black box. I stare at Tokekot as if I'm seeing her for the first time, a decision abyss yawning before me. What do I owe her? My loyalty is with Selli'Cha, now and forever to come. She is only a pet, a small alien thing we happened to pick up on another world. Defenseless, teeny and tiny, with nobody to speak for her. As I was, until I met my _elieg_ and escaped my fate... "I will help you," I say. What choice do I have? I rushed here with the single thought of protecting her from the breeding locks. Or death if Selli'Cha dies.

I accept the bag and seal my fate. She cocks her head to the side as she listens for what I cannot hear. "You have to leave, the kingleader is coming." Her torn is sharp, I have to leave.

I rush out of her quarters in an empty hallway, walking faster as I hear steps coming down the corridor behind me. I dart around the next corner and flatten myself along the wall, listening. The steps slow down, stop, and I peek, confident the kingleader won't see me, his mind's singly focused on his captive. I see him shuffle his girth inside. I ball my hands into fists, wishing that I had power, strength, courage, enough that I could defeat the kingleader or stop him. I am fuming, trembling, wanting it to be over with. I am sure that is how she feels also.

xxx

** _The Plan_ **

Selli'Cha is still sleeping. I store the package safely and set out again.

The night finds me hurrying down ship's corridors, one after another, until the hallways shrink into narrow passageways, until the smell of fumes scratches my nostrils, until the only ones around are alien slaves. I am safe among them, they know me to be lenient. I am one with those who toil in darkness, one with the unwilling captives trailing the corridors with saddened eyes. And they have repaid my kindness many times over with the gift of knowledge. I know where contraband is manufactured, and where illicit unions are hidden from sight. I, who is always present and always ignored, despised for being the willing recipient of my _eleig's eniarg_ , know more about every nook and cranny of the ship than any of the warriors and _svalls_.

But tonight it is not contraband I am after. What I am looking for is far away in an almost-forgotten hold, seldom visited, small and narrow. For who would ever resort to what it contains? If the ship fails, we all die with it. Escaping is a meaningless venture when there is no one who will come pick you up. The alien _holdslave_ watches me approach with a friendly eye. " _Svall Sullo'Crep_ " he says in greeting.

"I need a _breathsuit_ for my _eleig_ ," I tell him. What is more normal than making sure everything is as should be before a raid? The holdslave antennae perk up as he looks at me with these ugly squinty eyes. "But I don't want it on the register," I add. The _holdslave_ must write everything that comes in and out of the chambers he has the guard of.

I know he has no choice but to do my biding. Am I not the one who suggested his use as a keeper when I saw his useless arm? Am I not the one who repaired his torn wrist and shushed his cries? He hasn't forgotten. He gestures towards the end the room, "In that corner back there," he gruffly directs.

I walk to the shelves of tightly packed _breathsuits_ , trying to look as if I know what I'm doing, trying to find what I want while seeming to look at what I have no use for. I make a show of dropping a stack of suits on the floor while looking at their tags. It is a desperate move, but it pays off. I finally see them, crushed in a corner, _breathsuits_ for children. There's only two or three of them, who has any use for children? Or for the slaves they would fit? Alien slaves are by nature expendable. I pick up the fallen suits, shove them back on the shelf, turn to the _holdslave_ holding one aloft, "I'll take that one," I announce. From where he is, he cannot see the smaller suit wrapped inside the bigger one. I leave quickly.

I do not have a plan, at least not one I can articulate. When I was too small for training yet, I would set my pets free rather than see them come to harm, no matter how harshly I would be chastised for it. That is the one thing I know how to do. As a child, I could believe my pets would make it on their own. I am not so young anymore. Impossibilities of all kinds strike me.

But I have no better idea.

xxx


	3. Release

xxx

** _Heartbreak_ **

** __ **

** __ **

My _elieg_ is dead!

My _elieg_ is dead!

The shock and hurt careen through my mind like crazed pinballs.

Selli'Cha is no more. Selli'Cha. My _elieg_. My love...

The sorrow rends my soul. That can't be. How can that be?! We never expected it! Who could have expected it?! Who could have known?! How could we have know the world we were about to raid was protected? How could we have missed the armada parked in the nearby asteroid field? How?! But we did, and it was... Oh, how it was! How! The images fuse in my mind into a ball of pain and disbelief, a poisonous flower of flames.

Everything was quiet, everything was going as it should. Our warriors had left the ship in a dozen or so shuttles, stealthy army ready to spread across the horizon of this new world, to form an arc from which death would descend in a thousand blows. Selli'cha was the lead shuttle, pressed to show us all how he could best that new world armed with only an _hetys_. My _elieg_. My love... I watched his shuttle soar along with the other svalls', my chest full of love, and pride. All I had to do was wait. In a few hours he would come back victorious to me, lovingly deposit his _enarg_ into me, and claim his prize back. We would be reunited in domestic bliss, bathed by the sweet scent of his _eueq_ , him and me, and Tokekot, my pet.

I watched along with the others, taking in the graceful arc of our fleet as it drove towards the planet and its riches. A few more hours and all of it would be ours. All. Our eyes were riveted on the screen, mine on Selli'Cha's shuttle, the first of the first. Oh, how he was raring to attack, my Selli'cha. He had a claim to prove, and none would keep him away from it.

And then it happened. I saw it with my naked eye. And I can never unsee it, ever. What exactly happened, I did not see. All I saw was the explosion that engulfed Selli'Cha's shuttle, I saw his shuttle erupt in a ball of fire then spread to the vessel next to him, then the ones behind him. All I did was imagine his shouts, the shouts from our pilots, their surprise when our shuttles exploded.

Selli'cha's first. I have lost my _elieg_ , the love of my life, the pulse of my loins. My mind is aflame with pain, the images of his demise forever in my eyes. The blow he did not see, he could not see, that came and tore through him. The look of surprise on his face, the maniacal smile on his killer's. I scream my pain at the skies, I scream and scream and scream again, vainly trying to ban the pain from my core. My screams echo up and down the hall as our fleet is decimated, our others join their shrieks of horror and despair, of abject surprise. And rage. I am still screaming when the remainder of our ships turns around and makes back for the ship, as the swarm erupts from the asteroid field.

How did we not see them? Where were they hiding? Did they come to us from across an ocean of space?

Does it matter when our ship itself is under attack?

Our ship. The mightly vessel that has propelled us half across the galaxy. How can it fail? But failing it is. Even small ships can inflict great damage if enough in numbers. And these are enough in numbers, a true armada. The ship is creaking under the relentless assault, the upcoming failure of its big great hulls can be heard in the moist sounds that erupt with each blow.

It is as it should be. There is nothing worth living for, I will follow Selli'Cha in death, as I am sworn to do.

A thought stops me... Tokekot.

xxx

** _Release_ **

** __ **

** __ **

Tokekot.

Soon, that is all I can think about. My heart is afire with pain, and yet I can think of nothing else. What will come of her? I cannot leave her to the kingsleader. I cannot leaver her to die with the ship either... I have to... My mind is fevered but still crafty. I wanted to free her, and now I can. Suddenly I see it clearly, what must be done, what I must do. One last thing before I die...

I run through the corridors shaking with the salvos of the attackers' blows, unseen and unnoticed. All hands are running to save the ship, even the slaves. Alone among them I am running to a different goal. The battle is raging on, the ship is under fire, nobody will know the difference. I keep running, down the left hallway, straight to our rooms. I know what I came to get, I find it easily, breathlessly, avoiding seeing anything that would remind me of him. As if I could. Tears are streaming down my face as I exit our chambers. Running. Still running.

Finally, I am at her door, lost and unmoored, unable to think except that I must die also, except for what I must do first. There is no answer at my door chime. It is a few seconds before I realize there is no door chime. Of course, ship systems are down. I grab the door and force it, stepping in. She is on her bed, waiting, looks up when she sees me but doesn't move.

I run to her, "Come!" I order. She still doesn't move. I suddenly realize I have my helmet on, she doesn't know it is I, Sull'Creep. I tear my helmet off, revealing my sweat-soaked hair, my tear-drowned eye. Now, she knows me.

Still she stays put. That is when I see the glossamer threads spreading across her lap, snaking along the fine chains bound to her collar and wrist adornments. She couldn't move even if she wanted to, stilled in place by the glowing web. A fine kingsleader, ours, that he would tie her down while our warriors raided. What was he afraid of? That my _elieg_ would take by force what is his by right? As if my _elieg_ has no honor.

Had no honor. The thought of him brings a sob to my throat. I yank at the chains in anger, but they're made of the finest steel, they will not tear or rend. I pull my _mera_ out, "Cover yourself!" I bark. She looks at me, hesitates, and I remember she cannot move. I block her face with my helmet, aiming for the thin threads. I pull the trigger. The noise reverberates in the small chamber, painfully. I can see it in the sudden jerk of her shoulders. The web is gone, the chains disappear into a cloud of mist. Her hands come to cover her shell-shaped ears.

"Come!" I say again. She looks at me in confusion, as if she cannot hear. "Come!" I say again. She cannot hear me. I suddenly remember her lameness... Before she can move, I have picked her up in the crook of my elbow, like old times. I have her on one side, the package on the other. She is so light against my chest. Lighter than she used to be. Anger swells my chest again. Good anger, soothing anger, it chases the sorrow etched like a permanent hole in my heart.

I know exactly where I am headed. I run through the corridors, holding her securely against me, glad she has enough wits about her not to fight me or try to jump off. The ship shakes again. Flames suddenly erupt, blocking my path. I round my back, put a protective arm around her, push through, letting the flames fizzle off me. I cast a quick glance to make sure she's unscathed and pick up the pace again. One last corner rounded so fast I almost go careening against the other side. I can feel Tokekot moving, she is trying to leave me. That, I can't allow. "Stop!" I firmly say, grabbing her back in place. There is the sudden feeling that I'm hurting her, and I slightly release my hold. How did I even know that? There is no time to ponder. We've reached the place.

I plop her down, heedless of how hard I do so. Now is not the time for finesse. She remains in place, seemingly out of breath, and I realize I must have hurt her. I would feel bad, but there is no time. I extract the breathsuit, throws it in her general direction, "Here! Put this on!" She looks at me as if she's trying to understand. "Quick!" I order. What doesn't she understand?! Of course... "Selli'Cha is dead!" The are jerked out of me, almost physically tearing at my throat. How is it even possible for me to say that?!

She is holding the breathsuit, looking at me, "I grieve with thee," she says. It is as if a dam has burst inside me. Tears drown my sight. "I'll let you go!" The thought comes that she will think Selli'Cha was the one holding her, when the whole time it was me, me! "I am letting you go," I repeat. I gesture towards the breathsuit, "Put it on!"

She does, slowly unrolling the pant leg over her useless knee. As soon as she is done the breathsuit automatically shrinks to her size. I hand over the black boxes that I retrieved from our room, "Here! Call your ship!," I say. She shakes her head slightly, "I turned the automatic beacon on." So, her ship is arriving soon. "Good, good," I say, looking around. The smallish pod is right where I last saw it, lined up on the side, never meant to be used. I key in the entry code and the door opens. There's room enough for the two if us. I gesture her inside and she hobbles in, turns to wait for me.

Instead, the door clangs shut in her face. There is no time. I cannot think about it. I will not. I see her hand reach the door as if she means to open it. I sense the deflagration in my back pushing me against the door. I feel the ship erupting in a ball of flame.

Space. I love it.

Love the vastness, love the stars.

Love the velveteen darkness.

Love the lack of sound.

Love the small silver pod tumbling end to end into outer space.

One second. One second is all it takes. One second and I join my _elieg_ for eternity.

One second and I find happiness again.

xxx

** _Days later_ **

** __ **

** __ **

"How is she, doctor?"

"Ah, Commander Tucker!" Phlox turned around with a smile, "I was expecting you. She's ready to be awakened." He genially picked up a hypo and walked to the biobed, Trip in tow. "Captain Archer is on his way from the Bridge," Phlox added.

Trip nodded. Jon'd agreed to let him be the one with her when she first woke up. The hypo hissed and T'Pol opened her eyes, blinking. She saw Trip and sat up in a smooth motion. Her hand flew to her ear, touching the contour where heavy jewelry had recently hung.

"They're as good as new," Phlox warmly called from where he was checking her vitals. "And your knee should be as good as new as well," he added, pointed to the bone regenerator close to the bed, "Though there may still need adjustments to be made."

T'Pol looked at him, then back at Trip again, taking in the rest of Sickbay. "I am on Enterprise," she said, in a way that almost sounded as a question.

"We got you back yesterday," Trip answered, taking her hands in his so she could also perceive how he felt, "We picked your beacon up a few days ago..." He swallowed hard. Even with Enterprise at warp 5, it had taken days to reach the beacon and when they got there, all they could see was debris for miles around. He would never forget the shock, the abject fear that she was dead.

It was Reed who'd pointed out they were still getting a signal from the beacon, that it mustn't be destroyed... It'd taken hour upon hour of search before they'd finally located the pod, and the Vulcan lifesign within, weak. The pod wouldn't open and he was the one who'd cut into it, careful not to cut into its occupant. Only to stare in bemused shock at the small form in a survival suit, unconscious, with a thick gold collar and heavy earrings dangling on her shoulders. He looked at the dark bruises around her jaw, the healing abrasions on her collarbone, frowning, "Do these hurt?" he asked.

"No." T'Pol shook her head. She unclasped her hand and brought it up to her ears, as if she'd expected the head-shaking would be painful. The gesture was not lost on Phlox. "They're as good as new," he said again, whisking the med padd back into his pocket, "I closed the cartilage and repaired the firsubae ligaments."

"Thank you, Doctor," T'Pol answered. She cleared her throat with a slight frown, her voice sounded raspy to her ears.

"Oh, don't pay attention to that," Phlox reassured her, "just a side effect from the drugs in the survival suit."

"The breathsuit...," T'Pol said.

"Yes," Phlox was rocking back and forth on his soles, "Actually, it's not a bad way to describe it. I've never seen anything like this. It was like a giant lung -" he looked back at her, "Good thing, too, because we were almost out of time... - Ah, Captain!" he turned towards the new arrival as the doors swooshed open.

Archer strode to T'Pol's side, "How are you doing?" he asked.

"I... am... functional...," she replied, looking up to Phlox for confirmation.

"Everything is close to normal," the doctor smiled in return, "We may need further surgery on the leg, though, that's all."

"Good, good." Archer's attention remained on T'Pol, "Can you tell us what happened? We came to pick you, we found bodies..." He left the sentence hang.

"We encountered..." T'Pol hesitated, then went on, "An unknown species of alien arrived on the planet a few days after Enterprise left. They came to plunder the planet's resources and found the camp. And the away team..." It was her turn to let the sentence hang. Trip eyed her closely. He'd never known her to leave a sentence unfinished.

"What about the away team? " Archer asked.

T'Pol shook her head, started bringing a hand to her ear, stopped herself and brought it back into her lap. "Unfortunately, Captain, they died on the very first day. The away team were killed I was taken to the aliens' ship as a... prize."

Trip frowned at the micro-pause. That and the hesitations in her speech - she was an emotional wreck.

Archer exchanged a glance with Trip, "Why you and not the others?!"

"Jon!" Trip protested.

"Captain!" Phlox called at the same time. He interposed himself between Archer and the biobed. "My patient is healing, and she needs to rest. Commander Tucker came to see her to her quarters, where I expect she will remain on sick leave until I clear her, hmmm?" The doctor was no longer smiling, or genial.

Archer took a step back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean." He let his hands fall along his sides, "I was hoping that perhaps... that some of them had survived..."

T'Pol broke the ensuing silence, "You will have my full report on the events that unfolded, Captain." She looked up at Trip, "I would like to return to my quarters."

"Of course." Trip helped her slide off the biobed, keeping a protective hand on her arm as she took a couple of steps. She frowned, looked at Phlox.

"It's not quite the same?" the doctor asked. "We need to give it a couple of days for the bones to firm up, then I can check, we may have to operate again."

"Perhaps it is that I have forgotten the feeling of walking unimpaired," T'Pol replied.

Trip squeezed her elbow in sympathy. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he needed to know, but first he had to whisk her to safety. "You are on Enterprise, you are safe," he whispered into her ear. He half-expected she would reply that the statement was both obvious and redundant but she uncharacteristically said nothing.

xxx

** _Commander T'Pol, report_ **

** __ **

** __ **

"... Captain Archer made the command decision to leave me in charge of the survey team while Enterprise detoured to Omega Alpha Seven for supplies. Z99EMT was both uncharted and uninhabited and there were no expectations we would be meeting any life forms on the planet. The mission was proceeding as expected and the team was well on its way to cataloguing the major taxa of the planet. On Stardate 4856, Ensign Radedag left the camp early to finalize his recognizance of his assigned sector. He took leave at 07:45 with an expected return of 16:30. Around 07:58, I heard the ensign scream. I could not establish visual contact and ordered Specialists Terafue and Chang to cover me.

We found Ensign Radedag's body six hundred and thirty-two point four meters from the camp. A large lance-like weapon was protruding from his abdomen, the end of which was held by an alien. The alien was humanoid in shape, approximately two point fifty-three meters tall, with a single eye covering most of its forehead. The alien turned to us and bared a set of four fangs before pulling the weapon from Ensign Radedag. Specialist Chang fired, and missed. Eight more aliens sprung on us from where they had been hiding. Specialists Terafue and Chang conducted themselves with valor but were killed in action.

The survey team had caught up with us and engaged the aliens in turn, in spite of their physical superiority. I engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the alien who killed Ensign Radedag. I identified that he was the leader of the aliens and that his defeat could signal our victory. The odds were not in my favor and I was wounded during the fight. I regained consciousness to in the hold of an alien shuttle, surrounded by crates of fauna and flora, some of which I recognized as having originated on Z99EMT. Commensurate with the size of the aliens who attacked our camp, the shuttle bay was two point five times larger than the one on Enterprise. The light was insufficient for me to examine my surroundings, other than to confirm there were no other survivors aboard.

Once landed, the shuttle was emptied by several aliens, including an Andorian and a Tellarite. Circumstances prevented me from establishing communication with them but one of my captors, Sull'Creep, later informed me these were slaves, used by the alien raiders as a source of work and, when conditions required, a source of food. The UT had been stripped from my uniform and I was unable to communicate or understand the proceedings. The aide to the lead alien came to grab me and I was taken to the quarters he shared with the lead alien, whose name was Selli'Cha. The aide's name was Sull'Creep. He established through rough communications means that I did not have to fear him or Selli'Cha and he tended my wounds with rudimentary tools. The next few months allowed me to gain extensive knowledge of "the Raiders'", as they define themselves, their culture and area of operation..."

T'Pol toggled the recording off. All of them dead. So many bright futures cut short for no reason. Sull'Creep had claimed Selli'Cha had not planned to kill the entire survey team, slaves were valued, for their services and for their meat, but the Humans had been too weak, too feeble against opponents twice their size, and the Raiders' blows had dispatched them. She owed her survival to the fact she was Vulcan, her cranial structure was more protected. Or Selli'Cha had been a better warrior, had known how to hold his blow to keep a smaller prey alive. She would have to let Captain Archer know she did not have an answer to his question.

She needed to meditate again.

The report was taking an inordinate amount of time, every paragraph leading to an extensive meditation period. She was already spending over twenty hours a day in meditation, which Phlox had assured her was perfectly normal. And she had not even reached the part when she was handed over to the kingsleader... There may not be enough hours in the day to process that part of her captivity. The doctor had said to expect difficulties, that he would be providing pharmaceutical support if meditation turned elusive. Or ineffective. Her hope was that she would not need it, that the healing process would be well engaged enough by then that she could objectively report on what had happened... 

The need for meditation was growing urgent. She unfolded from the desk chair and walked to the meditation corner, savoring the renewed elasticity of her gait after the second round of surgery. She only wished non-physical issues were as readily amenable to therapeutic practices. 

She easily slipped into meditation. As usual. And startled out of it. As usual. For a split second she was back on the alien ship, back in the corner where Sull'Creep had set up her bed. She froze. A shadow was coming to her from the main room. The kingsleader...

And then there was a warm embrace, the vision shattered into a shower of fragments. Only Trip remained. It was Trip's arms, it was Trip's voice, whispering in her ear. "It's okay, you're back on Enterprise, you're safe."

She shook herself. The kingsleader was dead, as was Selli'Cha, and Sull'Creep. Before she could protest that she was not being rational, Trip had put a finger on her lips, "Ssshhh". And then he was sitting himself behind her, wrapping his arms around her. It may have been illogical but she suddenly felt safe. Now she could slowly sink through the meditation layers. One final awareness came to her mind, 'Only twenty or so sessions like this,' and his psionic responce, a laugh and a chuckle, 'And if it be a hundred times, I will be there with you." Her mind soared through the final layer, reaching the vast fusional expanse of oneness. Now she could attend to the healing process again.

All would be well.

THE END


End file.
